In this article we are going to talk about breaks. Most people have gone through some sentimental break throughout our lives and we know that it does not happen precisely well.
When we break up with our partner
It's not just that we lost that person we supposedly want. (I say supposedly because many times it is more a matter of dependence than of love) If not all of a sudden our whole world falls apart.
We feel alone, lost, disoriented and become the perfect breeding ground for various fears enter our head about our uncertain future.
We are afraid to be alone forever, not to find anyone who loves us, to have that special person remake his life and find someone better ... and an endless number of other things that would occupy the entire article if I start talking about they.
In those moments they give us absolutely the same and sometimes they even irritate the well-intentioned attempts of third parties to cheer us up. We hear phrases like "there are many fish in the river" "sure this has happened because fate has prepared something better for you" "is not the end of the world, little guy broke up X years ago and see how good he is now".
If we stop to think rationally we know that all this is true and that many people break daily and are capable of Follow your life and be happy again. However, although we can believe these phrases, our emotional part is still committed to boycotting our attempts at these well.
If we feel extremely sunk as if the world is running out falling piece by piece over our heads, how are we going to believe that after all we will be able to rebuild our lives and find ourselves well?
In this article I will not try to make you see that your life will be wonderful from now on, it may be, it may not; nor tell you that it's a matter of time, that the wounds will close and that the safest thing is that in the future you fall in love with another person (you already know that). My intention is to give you some guidelines for you to grieve, feeling as little as possible that the apocalypse is collapsing on you.
9 guidelines to survive a love break
1. Accept negative emotions
You are having a duel and as the name indicates duels hurt. It is absolutely normal for you to feel sad, lost, disoriented, anxious, etc. so don't be overwhelmed by it. Watch your emotions without feeding with negative thoughts (and often absurd). Accept your situation and accept uncertainty without questioning it. Don't imagine when you grow up just surrounded by cats! Posts to hypothesize about the future better imagine getting married to a wonderful person and spending the holidays on a yacht in Cancun J
2. Stay active, set goals
Even if you don't feel like it, you have to stay active. Go out with your friends, prepare a trip, go jogging, sign up for an NGO. Whatever, but you can't spend the day lying in bed watching photos of your ex-partner even if it's the only thing you want to do at that time.
You have to keep you entertained and spend the time you shared with your ex partner in things you like, that at some point you liked them, or that you think you might like.
You should not wait to find yourself better to do things, the process is reversed, you must force yourself to do things to go slowly starting to enjoy them and feeling better.
3. Change airs
All things in your environment are surely associated with your ex partner. So the time has come to change the air and start creating new memories.
Changing floor or in case it is not possible, redecorate it, paint the walls, throw everything what you do not need, take the opportunity to go out with people you have not seen for a long time, meet new people, take a trip to an unknown country, cut your hair, change your look, reinvent yourself!
4. Talk about your ex-partner and think about her as little as possible
This is often quite complicated so I suggest that spend an hour (if it is half better) to recreate your pain by pressing or talking about your former partner and that the rest of the day you occupy it with other things. If you catch yourself thinking or talking about your ex-partner at other times than the one assigned, hit yourself a good pinch and start doing any other activity to disconnect from the subject (even if it's sudoku or word search).
You will see how over time you don't even want to think about it during that established time.
5. Organize your time
Surely before the break you had your time more or less organized and you followed some kind of routine. Now that routine doesn't exist anymore and you have to create it again. I do not mean that you do the same every day, quite the opposite, it is time to innovate and start doing things that you did not do before or that you had stopped doing.
I mean you organize your time, to plan what you are going to do the next day so as not to leave long periods of time without doing anything and favor your mind trying to fill them in thinking about your former partner.
6. Learn to be alone
So far you were two, now you are only one. But you don't need another person to feel complete and happy. Learn to take care of yourself and spend time with yourself. Now you are the most important person in your life. You are the person with whom you will spend the rest of your life and therefore deserve to treat you as such.
Treat yourself, take care, consent, get ready, dress well ... Start playing sports, eat a proper diet and enjoy doing activities alone. It is not that you spend all your time surrounded by people but that you also learn to be comfortable with yourself.
Plan a trip alone, a mountain getaway with the company of a good book, go shopping, go for a drink, go to the movies. At the beginning you may be sure to do some things alone but eventually you will realize that although sometimes you prefer to be with someone you do not need the company of another person to be happy.
7. Be patient
A duel is a process and a process takes time. There will be better days and worse days, days when you advance and days when you go back. So the best advice I can give you is to be patient. Do your part, let time do yours and do not be overwhelmed by having dips.
8. Desidealize your ex
Sometimes we have our former partner too idealized. We only remember the beautiful moments and forget that like any human being that exists on the planet also has its failures.
I recommend you make a list of all the negative things that person has, the things you don't like about her, moments when she didn't treat you as you deserved, etc ...
This list will be your lifesaver in moments of weakness in those who want to get in touch with your ex and will remind you that if the relationship is over it is because there were reasons for it.
9. Zero contact
If you are trying to forget your ex, the worst thing you can do is spend all day talking to him / her.
At least during the initial phase it is very important not to have contact or news of that person. When the duel is over you will ask yourself if you want or if it is possible to maintain a friendship.
And when I mean not having contact with the other person, I don't mean just not talking to her. I also mean not looking at your facebook, your social networks, asking friends in common, etc ... The less we know about the other person, the better!
In short, what I intend with this article is that you become a active agent of your duel and even that in some moments you get to enjoy the process.
If you follow these 9 tips in less time than you imagine you will smile again and you can remember that you had a relationship with good things and bad things without feeling pain for it.Related tests
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