"Doing things right, it's fine, making them perfect, it's impossible"
Word of the psychologist, who as a good psychologist I attend.
If friends, love is not crush for not being perfect! Loving yourself means taking care of yourself, pampering yourself, but above all knowing yourself a little better, so you don't judge yourself too much. In this article I tell you some tricks to make it possible:
- 1 Know yourself
- 2 When will I be myself?
- 3 Learn to treat
As Aristotle said, know yourself. What do I mean by this? Psychologists use a term called devaluation; that would mean doubting one's worth. The devaluation can begin when a person does not stop evaluating himself or herself badly. Finishing by not listening.
For example, at a party: Am I handsome for the occasion? What will they think of me? What if they think badly and I end up being the laughing stock?
“And so, I just forgot that maybe that night I don't give a damn about being handsome, and I prefer to let go of my hair and have fun and dance slowly until 6 in the morning. But ... This will not happen because I have gummed hair, a dress that squeezes me and I will be aware of how I speak, how I move and even how others react. Because if I don't fit in with the guests: I'll be a fiasco, me and the party. ”(Being an example that may seem exaggerated, know that you can live with that intensity).
And all this is summarized in Psychology as: irrational beliefs. No doubt in the previous example, a series of thoughts have been prioritized that have blocked a way of being authentic and spontaneous, and have made the protagonist bitter.
When will I be myself?
There are moments and stages of the life cycle in which we are marked by a series of rules: whether at school, at home by our parents and even when we walk down the street, and we have to wait for the traffic light to turn green to Cross.
These are behaviors that work by obeying thoughts that are rational: if I cross in red, they can run me over. And this will limit me to cross when I please.
However, there are people who interact with the rest or plan their life with a continuous red light. They have a list of labels and / or standards that they impose and impose on themselves. For example: "I have to be nice / most of the time, the world should be fair, I have to achieve success in everything I do to be valued positively ... And if my prophecy is not fulfilled, I can not stand it" entering a state of anguish that makes them bitter.
It should be said that they are about automatic thoughts and unconscious. And that behind them is It hides a need to always be approved, or to always be successful or not to be frustrated.
Therefore and so that they do not break their expectations, they prefer to live with the fear, generating control over himself and his environment based on reasoning without any logic. Not knowing that they are feeding back that anguish, and beyond that, spending their vital energy on what does not belong to them: whatever happens outside.
Learn to treat
Somehow they practice the trial error, always falling into the same error ... And this, yes it is harmful to the self esteem. Since they base their esteem on the impossible, which is: to be opportune for every earthling, to avoid mistakes, or for others and the world to always meet their demands. That is, take command of a phantom control.
For those who persist in their own doctrine: I present to you the hateful anxiety and / or depression. Because yes, this can end up becoming an existential crisis for not knowing what you really want, or without valuing what you're worth. And beyond that, having a persistent fear "terribilitis" that makes you unresolved and unproductive with yourself.
Luckily and if you have felt identified with the above, you can go to a psychotherapist specializing in rational-behavioral therapy in abbreviations "TREC". To take charge of questioning your beliefs, and end up breaking down all the walls that prevent you from following your path or your challenges.