Emotional Fragility, what it is and how to deal with it

Emotional Fragility, what it is and how to deal with it

Be sensitive is a quality that allows us to be receptive and perceive the things that are in our environment, both the most sublime and beautiful as being able to appreciate a work of art or a sunset; it also allows us to perceive that many people go through difficult times, because it helps us to be empathic With others, it leads to compassion and solidarity, this is known as positive emotional expression.


  • 1 Advantages and disadvantages of being too sensitive
  • 2 Culture and sensitivity
  • 3 What do we mean by emotional fragility
  • 4 Anxiety and emotional fragility
  • 5 Facing emotional fragility
  • 6 7 Tips to be stronger emotionally

Advantages and disadvantages of being too sensitive

It is worth mentioning that being strong is not about being inexpressive or hiding our emotions and being sensitive does not imply being weakOn the contrary, it is a capacity that we can develop to enjoy and treasure the pleasant moments that life presents us, denotes that the person has the courage and strength to freely express what they feel, as well as intrapersonal and interpersonal intelligence.

We all go through difficult times, sometimes situations are so hard that they cause us some setbacks and emotions such as sadness and anger, we can experience a certain degree of anxiety, have doubts, sometimes feel vulnerable or even experience fear; all this is natural and these emotional manifestations They are characteristic of the human condition.

Nevertheless, when we are in equilibrium we can perceive them as transient states, and they help us pause to reassess our options, see the resources we have and mark a course of action perhaps different from what we had planned, this helps us adapt to new eventualities, challenges and create resilience. While we experience these kinds of emotions, we also have others that lead us to action such as: the passion for some things we do, moments of joy and peace, enjoy the company of certain people, all this, in a healthy person. It motivates action.

Culture and sensitivity

In many cultures, men are not allowed or not well seen to show their sensitivity, as it is a symbol of weakness. However, there are men who have this ability, they are strong and brave to do so in cultures that try to repress these aspects. If you are a man, you do not have to repress your emotions to appear strong, great artists are people who have a very developed quality and ability to feel, they can express it even in a laudable way.

Julio Cortázar said he did not have a very happy childhood, quite the opposite; This stage was marked by the First World War, the abandonment of his father and his both emotional and physical fragility. He commented that literature was his refuge, the possibility of flying to a fantastic world "by Julio Verne and Edgar Allan Poe" He is a clear example of acceptance of his condition and the importance of it in that sense, instead of using primitive defense mechanisms such as denial, he managed to sublimate these emotions through the writing of great literary works that today we can enjoy.

What do we mean by emotional fragility?

The emotional fragility, occurs when an event occurs in which the person could respond and manage effectively, but on the contrary, acts erratically, disorganized and paralyzing. The subjects who suffer from it, can miss important growth and development opportunities in different fields. To cite some examples to illustrate this: there are those who because of what they feel do not take advantage of job opportunities; academically they could stop attending school or stop fulfilling their school duties, they can sabotage beneficial relationships and often experience great emotional suffering, many of them they tend to procrastinate to mask the problem and thus their life can be diminishing in the different spheres in which it develops.

These people may have a poor selfconcept as well as low self-esteem, these aspects develop mainly in early childhood and adolescence; emotional fragility leads people to refuse experiences that can be pleasing and convenient for their biopsychosocial development, it makes them feel that they are not up to many of the challenges presented in the daily life, even hereditary and conditioning factors can intervene, some learned to respond in this way. However, some behaviors can be disengaged, practice appropriate strategies to cope with stress and you can also learn other ways of responding that are more optimal for people's quality of life. You can check the Inventory of items on vulnerability at stress.

Can't you ... erase the anguish recorded in the brain, with the sweet antidote of oblivion, throw the dangerous matter that weighs on your heart from your oppressed breast? William Shakespeare

Anxiety and emotional fragility

The fragility Emotional is intimately related to anxiety, these people usually present anticipatory anxiety that leads them to worry excessively about situations that have not yet happened or that even happened in the past, neglecting the present, because his attention is dispersed in these feelings of anguish. It is not only to easily fall into tears, anger or sadness, it is an expression that goes beyond this, because these emotions are magnified, the worry becomes excessive, they can be empathic with situations or people that make them increase these emotions inconveniently, thus falling into disorders of generalized anxiety, mood and depression.

Worry does not eliminate the pain of tomorrow, but eliminates the strength of today" Run Ten Boom.

Other symptoms that may manifest are: constant restlessness, Low tolerance to frustration, feelings of overwhelm, diverse fears that often do not have a real foundation, which leads them to have a scattered attention, a feeling of inner emptiness, some are afraid of abandonment, so They can be easy prey for the manipulation of others. When these emotions and feelings predominate in your life, they demotivate you to the point that they stop you to make important and convenient decisions for your development and for the good of others.

Pleasant experiences make life pleasant; Painful experiences drive growth. Suffering shows us in what we can improve, in what we still do not grow, in the same way that the painful points are symptoms of specific discomforts or overloaded body regions. Do not waste any suffering that comes upon you" Anthony de Mello

When emotional fragility arises in this way it could be to cause of other psychological disorders, related to trauma and usually the person suffer from stress which can be chronic, with the health consequences it generates. There are events that the person can not deal with many times alone, can manifest with a poor impulse control, people who suffer from a neurocognitive disorder due to a medical condition, those who suffer from a severe or terminal chronic degenerative disease may feel emotionally fragile as well; however many times this is because of the characteristics of other conditions that can be physical, psychological and even psychiatric, many disorders are accompanied by emotional lability, which are disproportionate emotional responses, seem out of place and context, can go from laughter to tears, although the occasion does not really merit it.

It is impossible for me to avoid restlessness, to the point that it is shameful for me to expose myself, in addition to being risky, that in the end, when I look down, I only see the emptiness in my feet; not a reserve of inner strength or external support capable of sustaining me, but a long chasm without any net to stop my fall" Scott Stossel

They often have an inability to have an optimal emotional regulation, which can often result in generalized anxiety disorders, mood as dysthymia, which can lead to isolation, reducing their quality of life.

Facing emotional fragility

Some people who recognize themselves as emotionally fragile do not transcend that stage of acceptance and fall into the victimhood, which prevents them from developing in many fields, because constantly They can blame others for their frustrations and failures.

Transform the tragedy into a personal triumph, misfortune itself into a human achievement. When we are not able to change the situation - think, for example, of incurable cancer - we are challenged to change ourselves". Viktor E. Frankl

In these cases it is necessary work on acceptance and if you find yourself in a situation of emotional fragility or identify that someone you appreciate is experiencing it, it is convenient that you approach a psychologist to guide you. You don't have to be alone in this process, if you decide. Many people suffer from emotional fragility, but it only represents an area of ​​opportunity to improve, with the appropriate professional advice you can have good results, if you have tried to leave that swamp and you cannot just, you can ask for help, it is better that you look for yourself or for the person who suffers it professional psychological supportWell, many times subjects that are emotionally fragile They are easy prey for toxic people, who profit from the pain of others, as well as others who can be cruel and manipulative.

A mechanism of evasion of freedom is that which consists in the tendency to abandon the independence of the self, to merge with something, or someone, outside of oneself, in order to acquire the force that the individual self lacks ... The most These mechanisms can be seen in the compulsive tendency towards submission or domination ". Erich Fromm

It is important that teachers, parents and guardians try to identify risk factors in children and students, so that behavioral problems are detected. It is necessary to refer to psychologists when they observe any maladaptive and harmful behavior for the person or for the group. As well as foster positive links, avoid negative labels, provide support and tools so that they can develop both personal and social skills.

Is substantial work on self-knowledge and identification of your own abilities, to be able to potentiate them, know your limits to be able to transcend some of them or sublimate them in healthy ways, remember that the power is within you.

7 Tips to be stronger emotionally

1. Make a list of your positive qualities, as well as charitable skills or activities for you or for the good of others that you have always wanted to do but have not dared. For example: Taking dance classes, even if you have always been told that you are not good for that, many skills can be developed with the exercise of will, practice and perseverance, having achievements and learning new things can make you feel better. . You can also choose to work more with one skill or talent that you already own, for the benefit of you or others.

2. Make a list of the areas you want to improve as a person, and choose 1 that is realistic and fits your resources, even on time, to start.

3. Practice the meditation, mindfulness and self-observation without judgment, try to concentrate only on the present, if it costs you work you can start with 5 minutes a day, the ideal is that you get to complete 30 minutes. You can be doing your daily activities, it does not mean that you have to be in a specific position, although you can practice some kind of ancestral technique such as Yoga, Vipassana, Tai Chi Chuan, or whatever you prefer, they can provide you with multiple benefits not only physical but mental flexibility, so they are very helpful for these purposes and science guarantees its benefits.

4. Try to make a physical exercise at least 5 times per week, choose one with which you feel comfortable and fit your schedules, such as: running, swimming, walking, playing volleyball, football ... Among others. The sport helps you feel good, because the behavior tends to repeat itself and how much more reinforcement you get rewards even at the physiological and cognitive level. The sport offers rewards on a social, personal and even biological level. Practicing it regularly increases the secretion of dopamine, serotonin, endorphins and other natural drugs that produce states of well-being, while helping us maintain the flexibility of our bodies by performing them constantly.

5. Practice the music therapy, has positive therapeutic effects on people, also cognitively, it is liberating and cathartic, because it is a suitable means of expression to express emotions. Listen to the beating of your heart and your breathing because they are “Mantrams” Primal and those who connect you with life and also produce a radiant sound.

Surround yourself with positive people who invite you to grow and support you in your goals, avoid those that emphasize your flaws and that seem to help you but only intend to manipulate you, avoid judging and resenting it, it is part of their process, just as you face yours. Remember not to put yourself in the position of victim or victimizer.

7. Learn to perform long and deep breaths, especially when you experience states of excessive stress and anxiety, it will help you to oxygenate your brain and can help you to calm down again.

Remember that you do not have to face this you can only ask for professional psychological support, in this way you can achieve your goals more easily, the psychologists will not judge you, nor will they talk about your problems with other people, the therapeutic space can be of great Help and it's confidential.

Here I leave 45 phrases of anxiety and overcoming that can motivate you to start taking action.



Bibliographic references

  • De Mello, A. (1994). Break the idol. Mexico: DABAR editions.
  • Frankl, Viktor E. (1987). Psychotherapy and Humanism. Mexico: Economic Culture Fund
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