Disrespect, insults and even physical violence are some of the behaviors that many children show towards their parents. In fact, in some families it seems that the roles are reversed and that it is the children who carry the singing voice. Parents no longer have the authority to set standards or impose punishments, the children have taken over.
Unfortunately, these behaviors not only profoundly affect family dynamics, but also create great pressure on parents who do not know how to deal with this problem and almost always end up submitting to the child's wishes to prevent emotional outbursts.
In addition, the presence of parents is not even useful for children to be happy, because they end up developing what is known as the "Emperor Syndrome", which, as we shall see, can have serious long-term consequences.
- 1 What is Emperor Syndrome?
- 2 Is the tyrant child born or made?
- 3 What is the emperor boy like?
- 4 How to deal with a tyrant child?
- 5 Basic rules to curb tyrannical behaviors
What is the Emperor Syndrome?
Emperor Syndrome is a behavioral disorder that affects children and adolescents, and has its start at home. Basically, the child starts to challenge his parents and, seeing that he gets his way, continues to challenge other adults.
These children feel they have the power. And indeed, it is true that they have the pan by the handle, either because parents have granted them privileges disproportionate, because they have not been consistent in the imposition of rules in the home or because they have not been able to deal with the first tantrums and demands of the child in time.
As a result, the child not only develops a demanding relationship towards his parents, but is convinced that they must always be available to him. When they do not fulfill their wishes, the little one gets angry and can utter threats, insults or even physically attack their parents.
Is the tyrant child born or made?
The main characteristics that these children present are the emotional numbness, little or no responsibility for their actions, difficulty developing feelings of guilt and lack of attachment to parents and other adults.
In general, parents tend to blame this type of behavior for being too permissive and protective of their children, although it also influences the environment because today's children live in an individualistic, super-consumerist society and where fast and easy material success prevails above all. On the other hand, it cannot be ruled out that there may be a genetic predisposition that could explain why within the same family, and under the same conditions, only one member is affected.
It has also been found that there is no defined pattern. Sometimes he is the little brother, sometimes he is the oldest, he can be an only child or an adopted child, there is no basic rule. Yes, it seems that occurs more between upper and middle class and in children than in girls, but girls are gaining ground.
How is the emperor boy?
Children with emperor syndrome dictate and order what is done in the family. They not only decide what they are going to do, but also what other family members have to do. All family dynamics revolve around your wishes, which are often the fruit of their whims of the moment.
Behind this behavior some problems are hidden:
1. Hedonism: The child is constantly looking for pleasure, has not developed a sense of duty and does not understand that sometimes he has to make sacrifices for others.
2. Great egocentrism: All children, when they are young, are self-centered. However, as they grow they develop the empathy and learn to put themselves in the place of the other. Children with emperor syndrome show very few manifestations of empathy and feelings towards others.
3. Very low frustration tolerance: These children have trouble regulating their feelings and emotions, so when their parents do not fulfill their wishes, they usually experience enormous frustration that ultimately leads to an emotional outburst.
4. Great handling: Children with emperor syndrome do not always force themselves, they often use sophisticated tactics of emotional manipulation, they know their parents' weaknesses very well and have no scruples to use them in their favor.
5. Little sense of responsibility: These children are never willing to admit their mistakes, they will always blame others for not taking responsibility for their actions.
The main problem is that these children will face many problems later in life, but the world will not always be at their feet, just like their parents. Therefore, that selfishness, low tolerance for frustration and lack of social skills, end up passing a very high bill. Spoiled and authoritarian children are not happy children, nor will they be happy adults.
How to deal with a tyrant child?
Frustration is an essential feeling in the child's development: Children need, from when they are about one year old, clear routines, rules and limits about what they can and cannot do. In fact, one of his favorite sports is constantly test their parents to see how far they can go
When at the age of six they show themselves to be very impulsive children, who fight frequently, with attitudes of revenge and lack of empathy towards others, they seem insensitive, wanting to do evil because they do and feel powerful ... these are children tyrants At eleven these signs can be sharpened Significantly and at the age of 15 they are practically impossible to handle.
And is that educating is not easy, and must include certain doses of frustration to balance the infinite love we feel for our children. If the parents exercise their authority with love and perseverance, the impulses of the child to impose his will are mitigated. The problem comes if there is no reaction from the parents, who, in their eagerness to find an explanation or excuse for their behavior ("the child has a lot of personality", "what he does is normal at his age" ...) I don't know dare to impose the necessary discipline. When the problem is growing, there comes a point where the family feels that it has gotten out of hand. What can we do then? Of course, it is also not the best remedy to return to the authoritarian practices that were carried out in the past, but it is necessary to act with common sense, without exaggeration and without violence.
Basic rules to curb tyrannical behaviors
Here are some ideas to try to redirect tyrannical behavior, although in many cases external help is needed to achieve it effectively:
- Both parents must agree on how they want to educate their children, in what will be their educational model and carry it out jointly, without cracks, because if there are any, the child will immediately take advantage of them.
- Parents should be able to admit that their child is a tyrant and not look for extenuating circumstances.
- Routine, routine and more routine. The day-to-day of the child must be programmed: the times of eating, going to sleep, homework ... You must also have a series of obligations at home, such as making the bed, setting and removing the table, etc. And very clear rules about your leisure time.
- Not threaten. Threats convey insecurity to a child and only increase their tendency to denial.
- Do not forbid everything after allowing everything. They cannot withdraw all privileges at once, it is better to act calmly, step by step and think before speaking.
- Do not rise to the child's height: If he screams, kicks and sets up a scene, we cannot respond with shouting or yielding to his demands, we must breathe and let the crisis pass. It is best to wait for him to calm down without paying the slightest attention.
- Stop giving endless explanations, the tyrant does not use the words. Instead of discussing, we must remind them what are the rules that we have proposed and what their duty to respect them.
- Remember that miracles do not exist and education is a background race. Most likely, we will not see immediate results, but as it grows, the child will successfully internalize our teachings, do not faint, the key is persistence.
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