Love is a wonderful feeling. Intense in its beginnings and moderate in its development, as long as we set limits. If we are not careful and get carried away by passion, we may end up obsessing. The line that separates love from obsession is very thin.
- 1 Obsession is not love
- 2 Set limit to obsession
- 3 Conscious love
Obsession is not love
Being obsessive in a relationship means going beyond love and build a wall that envelops the relationship without leaving room for maneuver.The exclusivity that is established is so rigid that it eventually causes feelings of distrust and alertness in the relationship.
The obsession drowns, squeezes and suffocation, being its main weapon the control.Knowing what the couple is going to do, how and when, who they will be with and deciding on it are some examples. The focus of the obsessive person is uniquely and exclusively illuminating the other, even losing one's life. It is as if everything revolved around the couple and the other priorities had been canceled.
When obsession appears in a relationship it usually has to do with low self-esteem. Something is missing for the person who experiences it. It is as if a feeling of emptiness invades him and is filled with the other person. While who feels love is not filled with the other but is complemented.
Love offers acceptance, freedom and respect. Give wings to the other instead of catching him with chains. And even when a commitment is established, exclusivity does not appear as a norm but the honesty and well-being of both partners are valued.
Set limit to obsession
Obsessive love comes to an end when the person who suffers it is aware of their behavior and decides to end it. For it, The first step is to accept the obsessive component that is presented.
After awareness it is very important to give space to the other, that is, loosen the chains with which we have captured the relationship to gradually turn them into wings. Knock down the wall. At this point, it is convenient to reflect on the reason for that obsession. Often, if we do it right, we will find that the obsession stems from a feeling of insecurity because of the fear of losing the other or of being left alone primarily. When it has been detected, the next step will be to take responsibility for those needs and manage the emotions resulting from them with the aim of preventing them from interfering in the relationship.
Putting yourself in the other's place also helps because it brings another perspective.How would you feel if they are constantly controlling you? It is very important to understand that love is not binding and that possession and control completely annuls it. To love is to accept, choose and respect, in short, trust.
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Another aspect that we cannot forget is self-confidence. Trusting oneself is the impulse to grow self-esteem and thus, eliminate all those insecurities and doubts in relation to the other person. If you are with us it is by choice not by obligation, therefore why control?
However, in the event that difficulties arise when setting limits to obsession, it is advisable to go to a specialized professional. Working with him will help find a solution and learn different types of strategies to deal with the situation.
Now that we know what it means to be obsessive in a relationship, it is convenient to know the main characteristics of a healthy and conscious love.
So, Loving in a healthy way implies respecting the other and understanding their individuality. It is being aware that the other person is not there to satisfy our desires or to heal our wounds. But it remains by our side because it has chosen it.
Loving healthy implies being committed to growth as an engine of the couple's relationship. Away from fears and bonds. So thatThe goal of the relationship is not to be happy, but to be aware and evolve.
Definitely, Love is the practice of acceptance and freedom. An intense and sincere feeling that helps us improve and that is based on self-love, because if we don't love ourselves, we will hardly know how to love others well.
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