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[Email protected] to find a partner? Five tips to consolidate it

[Email protected] to find a partner? Five tips to consolidate it

A considerable number of people today want change your sentimental situation, want to go from singles, email protected or odd, to married or with a partner; nevertheless, a certain amount of them see their desires frustrated and end with the empty nest. His aspirations are wrecked by various causes. Some decide to give up and others persist over time. The latter, between each couple statement, disappoint. And the former, despite their resignation, continue hoping to find someone and formalize a partner. In any case, frustration is common; which is not measured by the number of failures, but by the depth of the emotions perceived by each one.

Precisely in this paper I want to address those people who persist in their efforts to change their love status. These types of singles need to know, first of all, that the application of magic formulas or only behavioral strategies is usually insufficient.

When a person counts for "tons" the pseudo-couples, or, has virtually no relationships to count; Without a doubt, we are talking about an exaggeration, two extremes and a clear symptom that the origin of his sentimental frustration is in his emotions, in his unconscious mind.

Tips to guide people who wish to have a lasting relationship

Not before noting, that what is written in this article is based on the aforementioned book and the objective is to generate restlessness, reflection and a beginning for the identification of emotional conflict.

We will start with behavioral recommendations and we will go deeper into the emotional ones; which highlights the sequence, since we first need to review at the elementary levels; given that it is possible for a person to achieve his purpose, applying purely behavioral aspects. Let's see:

1. Specify

At this point it is relevant that the person clearly defines his purpose. If you have ever had a relationship, whether for an hour, your request It's not finding a partner if not consolidate a relationship. All people normally by nature are equipped to generate attraction in the opposite sex, there are few cases - not to fall into absolutisms - in which an older person has never had any kind of sentimental or sexual encounter with another. Human beings have the ability to generate at least sexual desire, it is authentic biology. It is our conservation instinct that operates without us being aware of it.

Our unconscious has no time, the measure or amount of it is an undesirable value. Therefore, any sexual or sentimental encounter, however short, the unconscious receives it as "having a partner", regardless of how long.

Conscious and unconscious need to be consistent and in tune to achieve the goal, so you have to specify; establishing a readable language for the mind (composed of conscious and unconscious), which allows to achieve the purpose, which, seen what is observed is: Strengthen a relationship.

2. Retrospection

The second tip is to take paper and pencil to write the answer to the following question: what was the reason why the previous relationships were terminated or terminated? Enumerate them and find through retrospect and reflection a phrase that explains what happened. If there are many relationships as well as reasons, take the most significant ones.

Then, read and try to extract the common difficulty, focusing mostly on oneself and not on the other. Take an example: "All the men I've had are engaged or married," or, "All the women I've had are jealous."

The couple is a mirror where we can observe the conflicts that concern us and in this case, it is the first source of information to solve the difficulties that are preventing the consolidation of a relationship.

3. Detach

This is a process to dissolve sentimental or physical bonds to an earlier relationship. Being tied is normal; since, if you have lived with a person for a long period, there will always be pending issues, especially if there are children involved. However, if you feel "in love" or still emotionally linked to the person, a detachment process is required.

Detachment begins with tangible aspects and then with intangibles. It tends to remain attached to things (so-called "memories"), properties, businesses, places and even ideas, in common. In such a way that the term or settlement of the relationship is avoided. These attachments are a perfect excuse to maintain contact with the other person.

One of the principles of "feng shui" says: For the new to appear, the old must be let go. A phrase that applies extraordinarily to this section. This means that it is necessary to throw away, give away or burn (if relevant) objects that remind the other person and cause some sensation when observing them, including those that are not in sight. Bindings are mostly produced by "memories" both physical and mental. And in many opportunities what is loved is the memory and not the previous couple.

It is also recommended to settle pending issues with the ex-partner, such as business, any employment relationship or of any kind. If there are children, the relationship needs to be based exclusively on the welfare of the child, regardless of the interests of the parents. It is necessary to establish well-defined rules that do not give rise to ambiguities or setbacks.

To finish healing the possible wounds of love and if it feels that there are very strong sentimental ties or enough attachment, I recommend writing a farewell letter, then burn it and throw the ashes for running water, as a sign of farewell. It should be noted that an unrequited love becomes platonic. Love that does not feed fades, dies. An analogy of the above, we find it in breastfeeding; for the milk in the mother to be produced, the baby must suck the breast to stimulate the lowering of the breast. Similarly it happens with love, if it is not stimulated, it ends. In conclusion, what ties, is not love of couple.

4. Recognize

Following the sequence and at this point, after knowing the possible mistakes made and finally detaching from past relationships, it is now necessary to know if the couple's emotional place is unoccupied. It is necessary to identify and recognize the above in order to create an adequate disposition and receptivity to consolidate a relationship, as we have already said, the attraction occurs naturally and absolutely we are all programmed to attract a partner. No matter the figure, beauty, money, defects, age or religion; human beings instinctively, we have who corresponds to us. Of course, as long as the site is unoccupied.

"No person would sit in a busy place," is as simple as that. Imagine that we enter a theater to see a show and we are in the crowd, suddenly we hear that they call us and we realize that it is someone close. The person invites us to go, but as we get closer we find out that the chairs next to the subject in question are occupied. By detailing this, we immediately stop and start looking for another place quickly. And we think <>. Well, this simile is a way of understanding what happens when the emotional place of the couple is not free. He or she (single) is looking for who feels next to him, however, the possible couples sense, perceive or unconsciously identify that the place is occupied.

Understanding the above, let's move on to the next advice where we will clarify what is this emotional place.

5. Generate the vacuum

When the difficulty in consolidating a relationship is in the lack of recognition of a behavioral error (advice 2.), and / or a sentimental attachment to a previous love (advice 3.); By mere biology, when acceptance arrives and feeling disappears, potential couples will approach with stability intentions. However, if the above does not happen, then the possible cause originates in that emotionally the place of the couple is occupied by someone or something different. And according to what we explained in the previous point, we need in the first instance, recognize it.

The emptiness in the emotional world does not exist; since our unconscious - whose main function is to protect and conserve the species -, when it perceives some inconsistency in this direction, immediately solves it. And the way to respond to that emptiness is to "fill it" with what the person associates as "satisfactory." Which means that the emotional place of the couple is supplemented with what is established unconsciously as such. In other words, if an individual presents a dysfunction in this sense, then the emotional association that he has as a couple will be what supposes the place of it. What does not mean that it is satisfied, on the contrary, this dysfunction causes a greater demand, becoming an emotional placebo and a possible vicious circle.

To understand the above, it is crucial to know that when the emotional place does not correspond to that of a physical partner, there is some unconscious usurpation as I stated in a previous article-, by one of his parents or his representation, a brother, friend, pet , work, etc., will depend on the unconscious association that the person has as a “partner”. So it is important to identify who is in that place, then recognize and then heal to consolidate and establish a stable relationship.

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