Resilience: return to your natural state

Resilience: return to your natural state


Many of you will be wondering what resilience is. This concept is a term that derives from Latin (from the verb resilio, resilire: "jump back, bounce"). Resilience actually means returning our previous state, our "natural" state to put it in some way, especially after going through a critical or unusual situation. It is the ability we have to face adversity by strengthening and reaching a state of personal balance.


  • 1 What is resilience?
  • 2 How to develop resilience
  • 3 Personal qualities for optimal resilience
  • 4 How to develop our resilience

What is resilience?

In psychology, resilience corresponds to the ability we have to face our own problems

... overcome obstacles and not give in to pressure, regardless of the situation. It is the quality we show to overcome periods of emotional pain and trauma. Its meaning is very similar to the term "fortitude." The theory also tells us that resilience is the ability of the individual to make a decision at a time of crisis, even being afraid of the effect that such decision may cause us. With this capacity the person demonstrates whether or not he can cope with a pressure situation.

Several studies have shown that resilience is common, it is not an extraordinary quality in humans. People usually show sufficient resilience to face the vicissitudes of life.

Being someone with resilience does not mean that we do not experience difficulties or anxieties. Emotional pain and sadness are normal (and even adaptive) in people who have suffered great adversities or traumas in their lives. In fact, the road to resilience is probably full of obstacles that affect our emotional state.

On the other hand, resilience is not a characteristic that is static, since it includes behaviors, thoughts and actions that can be learned and developed like any other capacity.

How to develop resilience

It has been found that one of the most important factors in resilience is having relationships of love and support inside and outside the family. Relationships of this type, which offer love and security, contribute to affirming the resilience of the person. Although there are a combination of factors that contribute to develop it effectively:

  • The ability to make realistic plans and follow the necessary steps to carry them out.
  • A positive vision of ourselves, confidence in our strengths and abilities.
  • Work on communication and problem solving skills.
  • The ability to handle strong feelings and impulses.

These are all factors that people can work ourselves or, if we are not able, with the support of a specialist.

Personal qualities for optimal resilience

On the other hand, experts have analyzed what are the qualities that allow some people to get out more airy than others in the most difficult and complicated moments, and have determined that they are the following:

  • Flexibility and adaptability: If we expect everything to go as we wish and curse when it is not, this attitude limits us when it comes to dealing with reality. We must accept that things can be as we expect them, or completely different, and be prepared for them. In this way, we can devise creative and innovative solutions that would otherwise be impossible.
  • Do not victimize us: When we victimize ourselves, we lose the power we have to change reality. In adversity, it is necessary to analyze coldly what resources we have, what is in our hands to do or change and get down to work.
  • Have hope and positive vision of life: When we are going through a bad time, it seems to us that our future is automatically blackened and that nothing will change for the rest of our lives. It is important to trust that things will improve and turn out well, and continue looking for the positive aspects that we can find in the circumstances that we are living, however negative they may seem.

This positive vision does not prevent the person from being realistic, because it does not mean stop seeing the obstacles, but allows him not to focus only on them.

How to develop our resilience

Resilience means, above all, keeping an open mind to better cope with difficult circumstances or traumatic events.

To achieve this we can follow the following tips:

  • Give us freedom to experience strong emotions, but recognizing when we have to avoid them in order to continue functioning effectively.
  • Do not throw in the towel: go ahead and act to address our problems and face the demands of daily life.
  • Sometimes, step back to rest and fill us with energy again.
  • Find time to be with our loved ones to receive your support and encouragement, and also your care.
  • Trust others, but above all trust ourselves.

Finally, I have said that on some occasion I have seen resilience compare with taking a trip downstream inside a raft: in a river we can find slow, fast waters, unexpected turns, shallow areas and other sweeping areas. As in life, the changes we experience along the way always affect us in some way. But the fact of traveling by the river helps us to know it and to remember the past experiences we have had with it. Therefore, our trip is a diary that is written every day, which will help us in the future to find the strategies that work best for us when the waters are more white, but when they are not so, too.

Perseverance and confidence in our ability to avoid obstacles are very important. We must think that our insight in successfully navigating the raging waters will give us courage. The people we trust and who accompany us on the trip can help us face the rapids, currents and other difficulties of the river.

We can also get off the raft and rest on the riverbank from time to time. However, to continue our journey of life, we must get back on the raft and continue ...