We all want our relationship to grow and prosper. We work hard to achieve a strong relationship, but ... is it necessary to work so hard? Isn't a relationship supposed to flow naturally? Actually, when we talk about love and human ties, the grays end up gaining ground to blacks and whites.
Many times we are surprised because our partner appears in front of us to leave us and ends up being the one who is surprised because we had not realized that everything had collapsed long ago.
There are more times that we don't want to see things than we really didn't see them. Next, I will teach you to divide the signals emitted by a strong couple of which one that emits a relationship that is collapsing.
- 1 The communication
- 2 The claimed respect
- 3 Intimate relationships in the couple
- 4 The absence of the other in a strong relationship
- 5 The world of discussions
Communication is a controversial issue in the couple. If we start from the basis that women say 27,000 words a day and men 10,000, we see that there is something that is not in tune. However, it should not become a pitched battle for "talk to me" and "stop talking to me." Let's see what happens in both cases.
Beyond the fact that the woman is a true "talkative" and the man a pact of silence in itself, when we are facing a strong couple, communication flows. Generally he arrives from work and she speaks even by the elbows, but there are smiles, surprise and comments from the man of the house. He also feels like telling him what happened in his day. Finally, the talk is diminishing and silence becomes present. But it is the necessary silence after a good verbal activity. Of course, a healthy couple talks and addresses issues that they don't agree on. They do it calmly and want to overcome all difficulties.
When the "I don't want to talk about it", "We're not going back on that subject", again with the same thing! "And very related phrases with these make their way when one of the two wants to talk about a specific topic, We are in trouble. On the other hand, the daily talk becomes forced and we notice how our partner is waiting for us to finish talking to immerse themselves in their thoughts and enjoy the fact of not hearing our voice.
The claimed respect
Is it necessary to claim to be respected?
In this case, respect is as an unwritten rule that we know we should apply. We must not hold on or bite our teeth so as not to let go of an insult, but it is part of what is born to us naturally because of loving the other.
Small words or derogatory phrases appear. At the beginning we do not pay attention, but they are making a snowball in a short time. When we want to realize, those little insults we used to tell that primary school partner that we found insufferable, are the words we receive several times an hour from who we think loves us.
Intimate relationships in the couple
Is there an ideal frequency to have relationships? Although each couple has their own rhythm and needs, we know that five times a day is only possible in the first stage of the relationship and that once every fifteen days it is a sign that we no longer feel the same attraction as before. But ... and what about the quality?
Sex is frequent, varied and makes us fly. But we also see that our partner enjoys a lot and is not waiting for us to be able to settle the matter and thus be able to turn around and devote himself to what he most wants to do: sleep.
The excuses that distance us from physical contact are becoming more frequent. In turn, we always do the same and we usually ask, or worse, we are the recipients of the question: are you done?
The absence of the other in a strong relationship
What do the moments when we are alone mean?
These moments are the opportunity to meet with ourselves and to improve our person and our house to wait for the other. They are very positive instances, but in which the other is permanently present in our thoughts.
A moment alone is an oasis in the desert. We use these few moments to breathe, we feel more alive and we realize that our true essence comes to light. We take the opportunity to get together with friends, download the oppression we feel in our partner and to talk, dress and be the way we like.
The world of discussions
Discussions are a very "discussed" topic in the field of relationships. Is it good to argue? Is it wrong to do it? Does arguing mean we don't get along? The answer to the first question is "yes," while the other two is "no." To discuss is to exchange ideas. Asking whether it is good or bad to discuss is like asking if it is right or wrong to speak. The problem lies in how we do it.
The discussions take place in a framework of respect and tolerance. They help us to get to know the other person better, to open our minds and change our minds or to establish ourselves in our own. Beyond me being a Marxist and my capitalist partner, there can (and should) be respect for mutual ideas. We listen and enrich ourselves with each other's ideas.
They are messy verbal battles that lead nowhere. There are shouts, insults, phrases that are loaded with intolerance. We believe we are the owners of the truth and are unable to enter into reason as to what our partner is trying to convey to us. They become fights towards the dismemberment of the relationship.