Envy: better wake her up than feel her

Envy: better wake her up than feel her

Envy is a very common feeling, perhaps who dares to say that he has never felt it? It is an expression that hides for fear of perceiving it or feeling judged.


  • 1 What is envy?
  • 2 Origin of envy
  • 3 How is an envious person?
  • 4 The negative consequences of feeling envious
  • 5 How to overcome envy

What is envy?

Envy is an effect originated in the desire to possess what is in the hands of another person, group or community, for example: money, a good, experience, situation, power, body, strength, love, etc. Envy is a natural and inherent sensation to any human being, however, when it causes suffering it presents a scope of conflict.

Suffering is born in the first instance, when envy is denied or evaded. There are few people who recognize feeling it. Denial is preceded by religious, cultural, family or personal beliefs. Beliefs cause the individual to refuse to admit it and as a consequence, represses it. The feeling is immediately sent to the unconscious mind and from there it continues to be emitted and empowered, it becomes an emotion. Suppressing is a great incentive that awakens and sensitizes the person to attract situations that generate envy.

Origin of Envy

From the point of view of biological evolution, the human being in the stage in which it requires “to leave the cave” and move in the terrestrial environment, is responsible for making movements, transporting and moving. Some actions that make it possible to measure forces, evaluate and compare with peers and enemies. This adaptation leads the human being to be competent and demands a constant evaluation of his abilities with respect to others. An evolutionary fact that determines the degree of personal assessment.

The comparison, according to the above, is the emotional genesis of envy; in the event that the valuation is considered inferior, the individual is devalued with respect to his opponents or related. When the devaluation is high, innumerable conflicts arise, from the emotional to the psychological and physical. Envy becomes a conflict when the person begins to develop resentment, resentment, hatred, desire to destroy or revenge against a person, family, group or community. High doses of envy lead the individual to shy away from competition, since as we put it, the person suffers a high devaluation, is perceived inferior and weaker.

How is an envious person?

The envious experience dissatisfaction and Frustration, but since he usually does not recognize and repress it, this feeling is strengthened. The person accumulates great anger towards those who possess “the object” that he thinks he lacks. The individual, given his low self-esteem, perceives himself unable to achieve or obtain what the other enjoys. He is deprived of fighting and competing for what he wants, or simply to accept his limitations.

Likewise, Envy can also be suffered when someone wishes to think, express, perform a certain action or behavior and is prohibited; either for their beliefs of what is good or bad, for fear of disapproval or for prohibition. In which case, the person becomes critical, judges, reproaches and can even become an enemy of those who are able to express what they unconsciously want.

This conflict is manifested in attitudes of rejection, dominance, reproach, abuse, injury, betrayal, revenge and estrangement, among others. This individual often does not know that his behaviors come from his devaluation and holds his victims responsible for his behavior. The envious justifies its proceeding with the self-defense argument.

A person suffering from envy it can also lead to superiority behavior. It is about the one who wants to excel at any price, be the center of the eye, looks sickly at the assessment, ridicules and exaggerates, gets to lie about his achievements, presents a great desire for recognition and admiration.

The negative consequences of feeling envious

Envy is a feeling that prevents the individual from adapting to their environment. In interpersonal relationships it is a great cause of ruptures and accumulation of enemies. Envy and its consequent devaluation fosters social confrontations, between businessmen and workers, poor and rich. In the family context, the struggle between brothers for the love of parents, the rivalry for their gender status (man-woman) between the above and / or between parents. When a woman envies the masculine strength, she is prone to feminism and vice versa, when the man desires the procreative act and the sexual power of the woman, she tends to machismo. Envy for beauty among women is a source of wealth for many cosmetology companies and plastic surgeons. Consumerism can also be a result of personal, family and social envy.

The envious conflict clearly conditions their quality of life. The envious acquires the emotional habit of being more aware of what they do, own, think and express their victims. It is an emotional immature that is not yet recognized, does not know who he is, fears himself or has an emotional block that prevents him from developing and maturing.

How to overcome envy

The healing of the conflict start by recognition, since as we expressed in the first paragraphs, denial enhances the effect and turns it into an emotion, which from the unconscious is projected to increase its consequences. The envious person needs to be aware that envy is a feeling that occurs naturally when comparison is established, but that becomes a conflict when there is a great undervaluation based on disability and ineptitude.

People with such conflict need to maintain their condition of conscious attention at the moment when the feeling of envy arises, recognize it and deepen its devaluation; accepting that human beings will always have limitations with respect to others. They require in turn, revalue, because in the same way that we have limitations, we also have strengths.

In the revaluation is the healing of those who manifest a conflict of envy. The envious need to strengthen their talents with the humility of their own limitations. The afford the development of their virtues and recognize them as part of their nature and likewise accept their limitations, is to know yourself. Emotional maturity begins with this self-knowledge and revaluation, through the recognition of one's talents and the empowerment of the strengths that catapult him to his personal growth.