- 1 What is desire?
- 2 Why does lack of sexual desire occur?
- 3 How to increase desire?
- 4 Increase desire with the use of “tools”
- 5 Visit to a sexology professional
What is desire?
It is important to know the human sexual response to talk about desire. Desire is the first of the five phases of this sexual responseThe others are excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution, and it is characterized by the presence of sexual thoughts or fantasies and the desire for sexual activity to occur. Freud defined it as "the psychic energy of a sexual nature that pushes to be satisfied immediately”.
Why does lack of sexual desire occur?
The lack of sexual desire is nothing other than having a low level of interest in having sex. Many times this lack of interest is accompanied by some problem of sexual dysfunction, although this is not always the case.
When facing a loss of desire in our relationship It is essential to begin by identifying the problem. There are both physical and psychological reasons that would explain the lack of interest in having sex.
Thus, the origin of the lack of desire could be in:
- Relationship problems
- Routine / sexual monotony
- Sexual dysfunctions
- Hormonal imbalances of pregnancy, lactation or menopause
- Consumption of certain drugs
- Daily stress
On a psychological level, routine is the worst enemy of our desire, but this does not mean that we have to suffer it without more. It is very important to know how to eroticize our mind and try new things so as not to lose our desire. Encouraging passion will have positive effects on the relationship.
How to increase desire?
Eat certain foods
There are foods that are considered with aphrodisiac effects, some examples would be the dark chocolate, honey, strawberries, oysters or cinnamon. These foods can help us rekindle passion and sexual desire. There are also medicinal plants with energetic properties, whose consumption helps to obtain a general well-being, such as the ginseng or cardamom.
Have a healthy lifestyle
It is known that practicing physical activity improves our quality of life and this has a greater sexual desire. Physical exercise can improve our libido since it stimulates circulation, which facilitates an increase in arousal. In addition, sport increases testosterone levels, which also results in a more active sexual desire.
Although, in general, all sports are good, One that is highly recommended is yoga. This, in addition to improving the circulation of blood and musculature, causes greater relaxation and a reduction in daily stress, very important factors to increase the desire for sexual activity. Actually, any activity that relaxes us will mean an improvement in sexual relations and a predisposition to enjoy intimate encounters with our partner. This, together with a healthy eating and a good rest, will help improve desire levels.
Spend time as a couple
It is important that we have time to share with our non-sexual intimacy partner or to go out alone, this will help us relive the desire and interest in the other person.
You can choose one day a week to have an appointment, for lunch or dinner only both. The more connected the members of the couple, the easier it will be to awaken the desire. It's a good idea take advantage of this time together to try new things, like going dancing, going on an excursion.
Spread household chores
Few things can stress most people more than having to deal exclusively with housework and childcare. Dividing the tasks will make the two members of the couple more rested and in a better mood.. This will facilitate the creation of a feeling of companionship and cooperation that can be extended to other areas of the relationship, such as the sexual area.
Explore what we like (and what we don't) in bed
It is important that there is communication with the couple about those things that we like or do not like in sexual relations. A very effective way would be to give yourself a full body massage. The idea is to play with excitement but without aiming to reach intercourse.
Increase desire with the use of “tools”
Use of lubricants
When lubrication does not come naturally or is not enough, the use of lubricant is a great ally in both vaginal and anal sex.
Vibrators and sex toys
Sex toys to be used alone or as a couple, it is certainly a great help to give play and fun to our intimate relationships
Mobile text messages
Whatssaps have taken over our lives, so it may be a good idea to use the mobile to send “spicy” messages to our partner
Buy erotic lingerie
Sexy and flattering underwear can be a great complement to increase desire, another option is the edible underwear with different smells and flavors
Visit to a sexology professional
If despite all this we do not get our desire to increase and this interferes with our relationship and wellbeing, it is advisable to go to a specialist.
The important thing is that we enjoy a satisfactory sex life and for this the important thing is to dedicate time and desire. And seek professional help if we need it.