When someone suffers from depression, the phrases we usually hear are: "Don't be sad", "Cheer up, that's nothing", "You have no reason to be wrong"… All of them are phrases of encouragement from good will, but their effect is null. This article aims to address a deeper understanding of depression, no longer at the theoretical level but at the experiential level. In this way, it is intended to show that depression is not just being sad. The misunderstood depression is part of an increasingly demanding society, so An understanding of its effect on people is essential to try to empathize with those who suffer.
- 1 The misunderstood depression: "don't be sad"
- 2 At the bottom of the well
- 3 Our mind: our ally and worst enemy
- 4 The misunderstood depression: seeds and patience
The misunderstood depression: "don't be sad"
Being depressed is not always a choice. The choice is not to want to fight and stagnate in this state of deep sadness and hopelessness. However, although many think that depression is just being sad, it entails something much deeper. The "deep" concept perfectly defines many of the emotional states that go through depressive states. The sadness is deep, the despair is deep ... Those who suffer from depression claim to be in the depths of a dark well.
There is a great misunderstanding around this disorder. Who suffers from it, may not have been aware of the gradual emotional decline that has been taking place inside, until one day he realizes he has no courage to do anything. It is hard for him to get up, it is a great effort to work, walk, do the housework. Begins to notice a great lack of appetite for what he liked before. Anhedonia takes hold of us and we begin to not enjoy what we liked, such as sports, going to the movies, walking with friends.
At the bottom of the well
The misunderstood depression is confused with a state of sadness that we can control at any time. There is a belief that with two or three beers and a good party everything ends. However, depression is much more powerful. Root inside us, in our heart and in our soul and slowly suck our vitality. We begin to see the future with pessimism. We neglect our image, "Why take care of yourself?". We wander the house aimlessly. We lay on the couch, then in bed and again on the couch.
All of this can be accompanied by anxiety attacks. States of deep despair that we are unable to control. Agitation of breathing, tightness in the chest, sweats, crying ... All this surpasses us and we are subjected to an emotional state of which we are unable to lift our heads. A huge stone tied to our feet prevents us from reaching the surface of the sea and breathing peacefully.
Our mind: our ally and worst enemy
Despite all the efforts we make when we are depressed, it seems that nothing works. Our mind becomes our worst enemy. It bombards us with messages full of pessimism and despair: "You'll never get out of this", "It's not worth living," "What do you want to fight for? It's no use"... The curious thing about all these messages is that we believe it. We discover that our own mind is the one that poisons us with such debilitating and catastrophic messages that we believe them in such a way that we stop fighting.
This is one of the fundamental points that would explain the fact that those with depression are immune to messages such as: "cheer up". It would be like saying to someone with a fever: "Stop having a fever". Everything requires a process. In some people this process can take weeks, in other months and in others longer. The depressive's mind has become a radio that emits messages automatically and to which of them the most negative.
That is why it is so important to start working as soon as possible with a professional. The misunderstood depression will need a profound intervention to turn the mind into our best ally. In the same way that our thoughts have become negative, they can become positive. At this point, it is important to know that the change is not instantaneous. We must devote time to work. Although we do not notice obvious results the first few days, little by little, we will begin to notice ourselves better. Until the foundation of a building is not consolidated, its height does not begin to rise.
The misunderstood depression: seeds and patience
When we ask for help and start working with ourselves, we are starting to plant seeds. In our interior we have seeds, for example, of happiness and unhappiness, of anger and peace, etc. It will depend on us what seeds we want to water. It is important to know that we must have patience. The seeds do not bloom overnight. It is necessary to water them, pay them and give them all the necessary care. Thus, if we take care of the seeds we are planting, one day the first bud will appear.
To think that the recovery process has to be overnight, will undoubtedly be most counterproductive. Thus, we only managed to press ourselves and hinder a gradual recovery process. If we want to impose an obligation, it will be to fight and move on, but we will try to avoid the obligation to want to be well in the moment. Every process requires time, patience, effort and perseverance. Therefore, it is important to know that our recovery will take time, but that will undoubtedly be worth it.