A belief is a idea or thought that is assumed to be true, is how we evaluate things, situations or people.
Origin of the beliefs
From childhood we learn through words, phrases, images, beliefs are formed through what we see, hear, what they tell us, we are acquiring beliefs from what people say, that is, society, family, authority figures, regardless of whether such beliefs are true or not, something that we take for granted, whether or not proven, becomes a belief. For example, when they told us, The earth is round. It became a belief, which to date is real!
Types of beliefs
What are irrational beliefs?
They are distorted, exaggerated, catastrophic thoughts are unsubstantiated statements, assumptions. Such beliefs / thoughts disturb us, causing very uncomfortable, intense emotions, depression, anxiety, physical discomfort, therefore, maladaptive behavior. Produce emotional discomfort.
What are rational beliefs?
They are realistic thoughts, which we provoke more balanced emotions, a more adapted and productive behavior.
The most common irrational beliefs
- I need to have someone who loves me and accepts to live happily.
- All people must be good to me.
- My past will negatively affect me all my life.
How to change irrational beliefs
- Identify your irrational beliefs.
- Put yourself in your objective role, debating your beliefs to reach a rational conclusion.
Make a debate what you think, in order to put arguments, bases, real evidence, this to form rational beliefs, because by thinking rationally about some situation, maybe it will make us feel worried, but not anxious, maybe something sad but not depressed, angry but not angry, with fear of something else not paralyzed, therefore our thoughts, emotions and behaviors will be healthy, favorable, functional, it will be easier to restructure the beliefs that are limiting us.
- It is an extreme necessity for the human being to be loved and approved by practically every significant person in society.
Why is it irrational?
The demanding to be approved by everyone is an unattainable goal. If approval is extremely needed, excessive concern will always be generated about how much one will be accepted. It is impossible for one to always be friendly or pleasant to others.
Although one could reach the approval of others, that will require a tremendous amount of effort and energy. Trying to be approved by others would generate a subservience and wear and tear where you would have to abandon your own needs.
The uncertainty of not getting the approval of others would generate an unsafe and annoying behavior thereby losing the interest of others.
Why would I have to be loved and approved by practically every person? Is that possible? What would happen if only some people loved me and approved me? Would it be terrifying if not the whole society approves me? keep living ?, can I stand it?
Forming a Rational Belief
It is appropriate that you seek more approval for your facts, activities and behaviors than for yourself.
The not being considered by others is frustrating but not horrifying or catastrophic. It is good that you ask yourself: What do I want to do in the course of my relatively short life? More than what do I think others would like me to do?
To get the love of others, one of the best ways is to start giving it to ourselves.
There are words that we commonly use and that have an impact on our being, how we rate and interpret what happens to us makes a difference in how we feel:
- Good or very good
- Bad or lousy
- Difficult or terrible
- I must ... or I would like ...
- I have to ... or I'm interested ...
Therefore creating a rational and optimistic internal dialogue will generate more pleasant emotions and tranquility:
- Maybe my economic situation is difficult but not terrible, however, I can stand this stage and solve.
- I am interested in making changes in my life, I will do my best.
- I feel sad about the breakup I had with ... however, it is not catastrophic, I can recover and move on.
The most common rational beliefs:
- I don't necessarily have to be with someone to be happy, I can start enjoying my company and if someone wants to be with me it is a plus and I will enjoy it too.
- There will be people who will be good to me, however, I will also meet people who are not always good, because all humans can make mistakes at some point and that does not mean they are bad.
- I can accept the fact that the past is important, it has come to influence my life, however, I can strive to transform my present to improve.