Low self-esteem imprisons us to the dependence of others and to contempt for ourselves causing us discomfort. The key to change is to make yourself visible and begin to value yourself.
- 1 The weight of childhood in our self-esteem
- 2 Characteristics of a person with low self-esteem
- 3 How to free yourself from low self-esteem
The weight of childhood in our self-esteem
Self-esteem is the evaluative perception we have of ourselves, that is, how we value ourselves. Thus, there will be people who build a positive idea about themselves, others who just do the opposite and value themselves negatively and then, those that fluctuate from positive to negative depending on the circumstances. As we see self-esteem is a matter of degree that conditions the life of each of us.
Self-esteem is forged in childhood and fluctuates over the years, affected by what happens around us. Everything that our parents told us or not, how they treated us and how they showed us their affection has repercussions on how we later value ourselves. Even in how we are going to interact with others and in our relationships. Everything has to do with the value we give ourselves, even if we don't realize it.
So if I feel loved and valued for how I am from my childhood, I will probably grow up with a feeling of security and confidence for myself that will allow me to show myself as I am and to relate without bogging down. Now, if what I have constantly felt have been contempt and criticism of my way of being, which has led me to please others to somehow feel loved, it is very likely that insecurity and fear of showing me how I am and the impossible requirement to try to be perfect in the eyes of others. Thus, I will look for people who confirm that I am not valid and my relationships will almost never be satisfactory because I will have become a prisoner of low self-esteem.
Characteristics of a person with low self-esteem
Low self-esteem catches the person in such a way that it is very difficult for him to realize what is happening on his own, since both his thoughts and his feelings and his way of acting are impregnated by that feeling of invalidity. Low self-esteem demonstrates poor affection about how the person imagines,due to its constant disapproval and devaluation by itself.
Listening to the stories of people with low self-esteem we will realize that they rarely say something good about themselves, They make many justifications about their behavior and somehow show their imperative need to be approved by others. In addition, these types of people are much more vulnerable to criticism than any other, because not being sure of themselves, any comment affects them, especially if it is negative.
There are times when people with low self-esteem are apparently well and happy, those who meet the expectations of others or congratulate them for something they have done. The problem lies when personal value is confused with complacency to others.
People with low self-esteem have not had time to discover their strengths to protect themselves. Inside there is a small little voice constantly ruminating that they are not enough, criticizing and comparing everything they do.
How to free yourself from low self-esteem
Escape from the prison of low self-esteem needs large doses of love for oneself because reinforcing our self-esteem means strengthening how we value ourselves, that is, we have to increase our personal value before ourselves and not in front of anyone.
It is very important to keep in mind that our level of self-esteem can be variable due to the various events that may occur and our personal growth, however The main thing is to start cultivating the ability to value and love each other.
For it, The first step is acceptance. Accepting means recognizing oneself, becoming visible and looking free from judgments, taking into account both our virtues and our defects. Accepting is picking up with open arms to start loving each other. In this way, we will discover a whole world of capabilities that are revealed from within and that we didn't even know.
Little by little we will be able to realize that we are valuable regardless of the result we achieve because we will have learned to do without judging ourselves and to gauge the importance of the opinions of others.
Finally, it is important that we do not stop checking from time to time. Stop and look in the mirror to ask us how are you?It is still a powerful exercise to connect with ourselves and above all, if we add "I love you" because there is nothing more sincere than the love that we can show ourselves and that later it will become the bridge that allows us to show love towards others.
We recommend our Self-Esteem Test.