In detail

Self-esteem, what it is and how to improve it in 8 steps

Self-esteem, what it is and how to improve it in 8 steps

An adequate level of self-esteem is the basis of the mental and physical health of the organism.


  • 1 What is self-esteem?
  • 2 Self-concept and self-esteem
  • 3 Qualities of a person with adequate self-esteem
  • 4 Practical tips to improve our self-esteem
  • 5 Good self-esteem gives us ...

What is self-esteem?

The concept we have of our capabilities and our potential is not only based on our way of being, but also on our experiences throughout life. What has happened to us, the relationships we have had with others (family, friends, etc.), the sensations we have experienced, everything influences our character and therefore the image we have of ourselves.

Self-concept and self-esteem

Self-concept derives from the subjective comparison we make of our person vis-à-vis others., as well as what they tell us and the behaviors they direct towards us. Successes and personal failures also influence the way we value ourselves.

A person with low self-esteem is usually someone insecure, who distrusts the powers themselves and does not want to make decisions for fear of being wrong. In addition, it needs the approval of others as it has many complexes. He usually has a distorted image of himself, both in terms of physical features and his personal worth or character.

All this produces a feeling of inferiority and shyness when it comes to interacting with other people. He has trouble making new friends and is aware of what they will say or think about him, since he has an excessive fear of rejection, of being misjudged and of being abandoned.. The affective dependence you have is the result of your need for approval, since you don't want enough to value yourself positively.

Another problem caused by having us undervalued is the inhibition of the expression of feelings for fear of not being reciprocated. If something goes wrong in a relationship or friendship, the person with lack of self-esteem will believe that the fault of this is theirs, often misunderstanding the facts and communication between them. He feels depressed in the face of any frustration, he sinks when he fails in his efforts and therefore avoids doing projects or abandons them to the first major difficulty or small failure.

Qualities of a person with adequate self-esteem

  • It has a vision of itself and its realistic and positive capabilities.
  • It does not need the approval of others, it is believed neither better nor worse than anyone.
  • Show your feelings and emotions freely.
  • Face the new challenges with optimism, trying to overcome fear and taking responsibility.
  • He communicates easily and satisfies social relations, values ​​friendship and has the initiative to address people.
  • He knows how to accept frustrations, learns from failures, is creative and innovative, likes to develop projects and perseveres in his goals.

To try to increase our self-esteem we must first of all begin by being our best friends, knowing that there is nothing and no one in this world more important than ourselves. Therefore we have to accept ourselves as we are, thinking there is no one better or worse, although we are all different, because that's what human diversity is based on.

Practical advice to improve our self-esteem

Do not complain

The fact of loving each other more and better it's in our hands, not those of others. Everything resides in the head and we are the ones who must try to change our self-concept.

Accept yourself

Accept yourself as you are, in your qualities and defects. We all have flaws, no one is perfect or pretends to be.

Have more sense of humor

Develop the sense of humor, do not give so much importance to things that do not have it, or to the possible comments of others. Surely on most occasions we make mountains unnecessarily, people are not always aware of what we do or say, everything is in our imagination.

Pay more attention

Pay attention, take time to do what makes you happy and satisfies you.

Take responsibility

Do not fear responsibilities or make decisionsIf something goes wrong, learn from your mistakes and have the courage to try again. No one is free from error in this life and sometimes you have to see the positive side of failures, think that even if some doors are closed, then others that can be even better will open.

Avoid always blaming yourself

If a personal relationship does not work, never think that the fault is yours alone, between two people both parties are responsible for their behavior. The truth in the end is that there was only one incompatibility of characters.

Congratulate yourself when you deserve it

Reward yourself for your achievements, even if these are small or unimportant, you will feel better this way.


Simplify your life and head towards really valuable goals for you, dedicating yourself to them intensely, without fear.

Good self-esteem gives us ...

  • Greater acceptance of yourself and others.
  • Less tensions and better position to master stress.
  • A more positive and optimistic view about life.
  • A good acceptance of personal responsibilities and the feeling of having a better control of things.
  • More independence
  • Better ability to listen to others.
  • Greater emotional balance.
  • You will enjoy social situations, but also loneliness.
  • Greater self-confidence, more humor and creativity.
  • Less fears about risks and failures, which will become opportunities, challenges, experiences.
  • An increase in the ability to express feelings.
  • Negative feelings like envy or resentment will disappear.
  • You will have a greater enthusiasm, motivation, enthusiasm and ability to enjoy the great and small pleasures of life.

It is not easy to change our self-esteem, if it were surely no one would suffer from having it too low, nor would there be shy or dependent people, but we must believe that there is nothing impossible if we really try to achieve it. People have enough capabilities to change and learn throughout our lives., as the saying goes "faith moves mountains."